Dear Drew,

I recently married the love of my life, but I've been keeping a small secret from him. Will my husband still love me if I tell him I have a penis?

Hidden Organ in Council Bluffs, It all depends on exactly how large your penis is. According to every hidden organs sex tape I have seen, anything between 3 and 5 inches is acceptable. If you fall short of that, he will just think you are a woman who took too many steriods. Longer than that and he won't be able to walk without looking like he just delivered a dozen letters for the Pony Express. So get out the ruler and a can of Crisco and see what happens.