Answers - May 2013 - Page 2:
Drew - Via Twitter
Thanks to @FOXTV for blacking out the #Mets game today on the west coast. Just when I thought u miserable fucks couldnt suck any harder.
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Drew - Via Twitter
I can only assume that this soccer match Im watching between #DoraTheExplorer and some dinosaurs is what everyone has been tweeting about.
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Drew - Via Twitter
I cant wait 2 finally watch #TheHungerGames 2night! Wait, thats the movie where those 2 girls get so hungry they eat each others shit,right?
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Drew - Via Twitter
All my ex girlfriends called me "Lil’ Smokie." I wonder why that is? Of course Im kidding, they were my ex boyfriends. #HungLikeAFieldMouse
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Drew - Via Twitter
Haters, my red rocket tonight is for you. "@JoseCanseco: haters my homer tonite is for you"
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Drew - Via Twitter
@HeatherDawn9810 @KaraWhalen26 I read that drunk afternoon hikes account for nearly 100% of bear attacks. #DrunkBearsAreASeriousProblem
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Drew - Via Twitter
Does any1 want my tickets to the #FrenchOpen ? When I bought them I had no idea it was for #tennis. #ItsNotFrenchAnalLikeIThought
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Drew - Via Twitter
Im starting a diary about my feelings. Does anyone know how to spell "Nacho Cheese Fisting" and "Justin Bieber"? #ImABelieber
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Drew - Via Twitter
I feel like a really great tshirt idea would b a slightly yellowed white mens v neck that says "I Got Hepatitis At The Swap Meet" #IdBuyThat
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Drew - Via Twitter
Why does every single fat guy always wear a tshirt with a hole in it? I just want to lick that little tuft of belly hair thats sticking out.
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Drew - Via Twitter
How many times is too many times 2 jerk off a dog in 1 day? If its more than 13 can some1 pls give me & my dog a ride 2 the vet? #HesTired
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Drew - Via Twitter
If ur happy and u know it clap ur hands. Hold on, thats a typo, it should say "I have the clap, thanks for the hand job." #STDSongs
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Drew - Via Twitter
I like 2 think that if #Elvis & I met we would be friends. I mean, as long as he let me stick my finger in his butt. #ThatsRight #ButtFinger
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Drew - Via Twitter
I cant imagine how empty my life would be without my kids. Hold on, thats a typo, it should read "Kids make me drink and cry alot" #TheTruth
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Drew - Via Twitter
Ppl always ask me "Drew, what is the secret to ur success?" 2 which I reply "I SAW THOSE EMPTY CANS FIRST! GET AWAY FROM MY SHOPPING CART!"
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Drew - Via Twitter
"Do I look like a fucking chicken farmer?" What I should have said to the guy who just asked if I needed help at the farmer store.
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Drew - Via Twitter
Expert Tip: No matter how good a deal it is, never buy enchiladas from a garage sale. #ShittyDeal
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Drew - Via Twitter
I dont think the enema is workingOH GOD THE SHIT IS EVERYWHERE OH GOD WHAT THE HELL I CAN FEEL MY INSIDES EXPLODING WHY DIDNT I USE THE WORM
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Drew - Via Twitter
It sounds like a homemade laxative enema is the best choice for my weight loss goals. Im going to use my Super Soaker to really get in there
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Drew - Via Twitter
I want to lose 10 lbs really fast. Im thinking either a tapeworm or the flu. Does any1 know which one involves more anal leakage? #ILikeThat
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